Friday, November 10, 2017

I am a happy girl

Hai bloggieee

Tak boleh tido
I just wanna express what i feel here
Before i go to sleep

Do you know how to fall in love?
How do i know if i really love someone?

I just have no answer to both of the question
But, when i realized i can talk to him for hoursss
And despite being emo, i can suddenly change and ended up being cheerful again
I know i really3 love him
Who would imagine

I thought i might marry someone out of love
Bcoz after my longgg breakup
I had no feelings at all
I just cant give my heart out
I thought i will marry a person out of responsibility
And the love maybe will develop later on
But bloggieeee
Truthfully.. sometimes i dont know how i feel towards him
I can restraint myself from talking to him for days
Maybe bcoz im mature enough to control myself kot

Everytime he called me
My heart meltssss
I feel like im in loveeeee
How to control this weird feeling bloggiee
Takut kalau ade perasaaan nak memiliki ni
Takut Allah tarik balik je

Maybe i should doa banyak2
So that everything will be fine
And Allah will let us be together if we are meant to be
Boleh x cakap something weird
I look forward to the day when u re mine
When u will be my door to jannah
I love you sooo much
Sooo much that im afraid i might lose someone like you again
But if that happens
May Allah ease my heart
And may Allah guide me to be a better muslimah

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Why am i so emo?


I dont understand myself
I know i’m going to have menses in few days
Thats the main reason why i am emooing right now
But bloggieee

I felt rejected
Soo much that i feel hurt
I dont know why am i feeling this way
Unnecessary feeling kan?
Thats why i hate relationship
I hate to have this kind of feeling
I miss the time that i didnt care about other people
When i dont give a damn for others

Everytime i look into it
I know its my fault
But.. heyyy what can i do when i have this kind of feeling
I tried to cool down
Tried exercise to let out my anger and my dissatisfaction
It worked but i cant text him now
Im afraid i might burst out silly things
And make him bored with me

Reason why i feel this way
When we were texting
Suddenly he said he wanna do bla3
The first time when he said he wanna workout
Then he wanna watch movie
Then he wanna have his dinner
At first i’m okay with what he said
When its too frequent
I have this thought, am i a bored person?
I just cant accept
I feel like he dont want me to bother him
I respect his time
I dont complaint when he replied my msg late
Sometimes i feel like being KK MO make me have a lot of free time
At time like this how i wish if i choose busy life
So that i wont have to care about little things
Should i change my interest back to anaesthesia?
Looking at my friend havig sleep deprived with every other day oncall, i’m afraid to venture into hospital life
I’m afraid i wont have time for my family
Though i really love hospital life
But at this rate, i really feel like i wanna go back to hosp life..

I know miss PMS coming
I know this feeling come because of this
But yeahh girl never learn kan?
Dah cool down baru insaf later on
Can i turn back time bloggie? 😞😞😞

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Serasot journey

Hai bloggieee

Too tired nowadays..
balik keje rase nak pengsan
Macam xcukup vitamin je
Huhuhu 😴😴😴

Hari2.. almost everyday hujan
Hence makin menyebabkan manusia bernama risq menjadi seorang yang mcm beruang pola

I know i need to change
I promise
To myself
I will start today
Not to sleep early no matter how tired i am

ok ok..
mari study 💪🏻

Friday, October 20, 2017

Hai there ✌🏻

Hai bloggieee

Ade org start stalking my blog now 🙊🙊
hai there 😍😍

anyway bloggiee.. i’ve met someone sooo special
Just more or less 3-4 months ago
Though at first i was hesitating
Still am.. but, i hope i made the right choice now..

His braveness
His smile
His cuteness
His craziness
Make me fall for him..
and thankyou for being there for me sayang..

Its been 104 days today
Ahaha.. yes i did an app to count the days 😂😂😂
May everyday be a blessed day for us
And though we faced hardship we will always be together 😍😍

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

do i choose the right person?


i just dont know..
did i make the right choice?
is it too impulsive?

i dont knoww..
sometimes, i just hope, i wont be too indulge in make decision
yess.. i am comfortable with him
i like his personality
i like how he differs from me, because i feel that he can control my weirdness
i have a feeling he can control the childishness in me
and i see abg tam in him
i see my abang's quality in him

knp bloggiee..why must this happen?
when bapak ask me a lot of question
i feel afraid..
true indeed, if i choose him, i have to live with him my whole life
can i accept that?
can i accept whatever his flaws?

i am far from perfect
sungguh la nk buat decision ni bukan senang kan
bkn tak solat mintak kat Allah
solat tak lupa
tapi hati mcm berbolak balik
is that a sign that i need to reconsider?
i already tell him what i need to tell
looks like he can accept that
tapi he havent tell me his..
maybe when he met me in aug later..
tapi bloggie, sungguh i paranoid towards guy..
knp susah nk decide?

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Final posting


Baby bloggie, dah final postinggggg 😘😘😘
Cam xcaye dh nk habes ho ship
Sekejap je mase berlalu..

Sedih ade
Suke ade
Tapi definitely tak nak repeat
Tak sanggup

Target saya nk kawen hujung tahun ni mcm entah xtercapai kot
Walaupun masih berharap ia akan jadi nyata
Tapi doesnt look like it may come true 😣

Tapi good thing!
Aim nk beli rumah ✅
Aim nak beli kereta ✅
Alhamdulillah.. just that rumah and kete dedua wane hijauuu
Hahaha, i just cannot brain myself
Xla minat hijau pon.. haha 😝

Mcm mana nk tahu ape yg patut kita buat?
Mcm mana nk pilih..
Mcm mana nk decide..

Posting pn xtau kat mana lagi..
Doakan pleaseeee...