Sunday, August 16, 2015

takut..

takut sgt nak mulakan hidup baruu
what awaits in front.. apa yang akan berlaku..
entah, semuanya macam tak pasti :(

ya Allah, apa patut aku lakukan ye..
should i just sleep and forget everything..
takut nak mulakan hidup sebagai houseman..
esok.. less than 36 hours in fact!

hari isnin tu, bapak cakap nak hantarkan..
tahu bapak excited nak hantar aku pergi keje
tapi kan.. aku nak letak barang sume.. and get ready..
so, kalau anything, aku xperlu call bapak and tunggu..
susah. sebab bapak pon keje..

so, i decide nak drive to work.. tapi cuak gak, guane ni bloggie???

eksited nak keje, eksaited nak berbakti..
tapi takut.. cuakk.. sume ade
rasanya boleh kot tahan makian sume..
bukan tak pernah kena..
kadang2 bila ingat balik, jadi bahan lawak je..
teringat dlu kne stupid, worthless, atrophied brain dengan prof bilkis dulu.. haha
"dont show ur stupid faces in front of me!"

entahlaaaaa...
whatever la kan, cuma harapnya aku takkan jumpe org mcm Dr. N dekat melaka..
belagak, bajet dia hebat gile..
yg lain2 aku boleh tolerate lagi..
help me ya Allah :)

p/s: i am so restless, can't sleep, cuak gileeeeee...
hopefully it will be a good day..

MD (UKM) all over the place.. goodluck guys ^^

How i sum up my beautiful journey.. Starting with 1st year until final year, how i met rosma, ja, my study groupmate mila, gid, and my dear azura. Doing research in ssm with dr asrul, ezri, grace & kak ten. Going for spa interview on feb 2015. Then on result day, when the dean announced our result, taking picture with buddy prof shahrir & beloved prof har. Meeting people in ptm portdickson, working together with group 4. The fact that only 6 of us will be the new ho in melaka really scare me, but i'm grateful to be at home with mum&dad and to have dear komalar by my side. Alhamdulillah..

To those who will start working tomorrow, best of luck buddies! Till we meet again.. InsyaAllah ^^ all the best!

till then.. see u again bloggieeeee :D

Friday, August 14, 2015

My dear baby IRIZ

 The ALL new proton-iriz :ppp
Well. Nampak sporty kan? ^^ huhu.. I just loveeee the new lookss.. Plus drivong iriz is definitely daebak! The car is starting to keep track with my pattern of driving.. Seems like so far so good..

Anyway.. Left 2 days before i started my hoship in melaka. Dunno what to feel inside either to cry or to be calm. But true indeed, only Allah will be able to help us.

Ok. So iriz dah halau city kebelakang :pp haha.
Ok. Enough. Too tired.. Just got bsck from induksi. I'll tell u later yaaa...

Monday, August 3, 2015

IRIZ... risq

haiiii... bloggie :)

Next week dah nak masuk kerja..
so, i decided to beli kereta.. hohoho.. dunno whether i made the right choice or not @@

alhamdulillah..
but i think i made the right choice for choosing iriz 1.6 premium
well.. to be honest, it is quite impressive..
nice handling.. so worth to buy..

i hope i won't regret..
ehh. anyway, my IRIZ is citrus green..looks soooo sporty :DDDD

Friday, May 29, 2015

Belajar bertukang

Assalamualaikum wbt bloggiee

Hai hai hai :pp
Bloggie. Just wondering. Am i doing the right thing for not applying to be RA etc etc.
I'm enjoying myself playing around, kemas rumah, hias rumah bla3..
Because i feel like i wont ever get tgis kind of precious holiday anymore once i'm working.

Anyway bloggiee. I learnt wood work with daddy last week.. Since then, i've completed 4 project in total. Maybe the next one after i've finished cleaning up and tidying up my home ;)
Banyak lg bende yg fikir nak buat tapi xtau sempat tak :pppp

Here's my masterpiece..
Atas tu rak utk sabun dkt laundry. Pastu merah tu rak tupperware utk tupperware ibu yg berlambak gile kat rumah. Mcm boleh buat kilang tupperware dah :ppp the blue tu rak kasut lama pastu just paku here and there and then cat.. Jadi la rak baru :pp the last one will be my first masterpiece. Encik shoerack..

And here how all this happen.
Katil lama roboh which i am not sure when
But then after months xbalik rumah due to pro exam.. Skali balik tgk bertimbun kayu kayan..
At first xterfikir pon nak buat
Pastu tetibe bosan. Last2 blaja ngan daddy nak dismentle barang2 then design nk buat cmne kayu tu sume..

Seriously mmg susah
Utk cabut paku masa dismentle katil tu
It takes few days sbb start buat pon petang pukul 5pm cmtu
So 2 hours a day.. 
Tangan melecet, merah, luka. Memacam laa.
Tapi puas hati sangat! ^^
Masa blaja buat kayu ni. Nanges la menjerit sakit laa.. Banyak betul kenangan!
Tapi tula.. Thats how life is..
Banyak kali roboh.. Pastu hammer tangan sendiri..
Pastu rak senget laa. Memacam laa.
Tapi xkesah la. Mmg xde background pertukangan pon
Kire ok la kan aci boleh buat rak ^^

Tapi kan bloggiee.
Mak cakap. Family kitorg ni mmg xde yg ayu2 gamaknye :pp hahahha
Sume geganas. Tatawu la bloggiee
Memang rasenye xde kot org yg nak a girl like me
Ganaz.. Lasak.. Tapi hati tisu.. Haha :pp
Well. Eventhough that, i still did my housechores ok :pp
All rounded la kan. 
Pagi masak, basuh kain, kemas rumah, pastu petang buat bertukang2 ;)
Pasni nk belajar jahit plak ^^
InsyaAllah :)

Anyway bloggie..
Rase semangat sgt tgk si dia berjaya
Can i be like him too one day?
Oh Allah please do that person a favor
Do take care of him and bless his life.
Amin :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

impossible thing that i've been pray for

assalamualaikum WBT bloggie..

eh.eh.eh. dah nak dekat sebulan eh xmenulis? hehehe :PP
rasa mcm baru semalam dapat result. haihhh..
mcm xpercaya even up till now..

skrg tgh nk kne prepare resume untuk anugerah universiti.
dapat ke xdapat ke, belakang kira.
asalkan kita berusaha ^^

urmm...
last night, sembang dengan mummy
i expressed how weird my angan2 is =PPP
suprisingly, mummy cakap we never know..
then don't stop asking and believing
mcm kesah graduation ni laa...
never in my life, i would expect it..
reason? medic susah, hence, impossible nk dpt distinction 
tambah plak dah penah repeat dulu.. *ramai kot yang tak percaya*
hahaha.. weirdest dream
and because Allah give me such a beautiful gift ever
hence, aku yg xpenah nk bersyukur ni, asking for more :(((

Allah.. whatever it is.. only YOU know what's in my heart
i will accept whatever you give me..
i hope i will be a good person and thankful for everything YOU give me

p/s: u lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
u, u enchant me even when u're not around
if there's boundaries, i will try to knock them down
i'm latching on, babe, now i know what i have found

i feel we're close enough
i wanna lock in ur love
i think we're close enough
could i lock in ur love?

now i've got u in my space
i won't let go of you
got u shackled in my embrace
i'm latching on to u

i'm so encaptured, got me wrapped up in ur touch
feel so enamored, hold me tight within ur clutch
how do u do it, u got me losing every breath
what did u give me to make my heart bleed out my chest?

u lift my heart up when the rest of me is down.. yes u are!
u enchant me even when u're not around.. yes u are!
ohhhhh... this is how weird my dream is =PPP
thankyou anyway.. i wanna believe it in my own wayy..
one fine day, i'm going to be someone like you...

Thursday, April 30, 2015

day out to zoo with min2

Hai bloggieeeee!!

Semalam pegi jenjalan ngan min2. Kejap jela tapi.. Tapi jadilaaaaa. At least min2 dpt jmpe zirafah, gajah, harimau.. Hehe :)

Cume kecewa, xde singa, kuda belang..
Sedih2.. Harimau pon sekor je tinggal @@

But i am a happy amay ^^
Ohhh. Maybe u're wondering kan.. Nape bukan maksu?
Sbb min2 xleh sebut maksu
So, jadila amay muyah :pp heheh ^^
But, still he can recognize my voice thru phone
And kat rumah pon.. He's not afraid of me anymore. Hehe :)



A day well spent
Alhamdulillah for a new day :)

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

a day well spent

A day well spent
Xtau nak ckp well spent ke tidak
Tapi i am a happy girl! Hehe

Today woke up at 5am. Then prepare for sahur
Then bla3. Kemas barang yg bertimbun
Then hangout with mam, kak nury, min2 to tesco
Best! Cume min2 ngamuk. Hahaha :pppp
Tu kan masa tido min2. Mmg penat la dia kan
Yg paling best, malam tu main playdoh
Ehhh. Terasa muda sgt tahu <3 nbsp="" p="">
Dlu bercita2 nak beli playdoh yg ade mesin2 tu
Tapi yela, dlu tak mampu
InsyaAllah.dh keje nnti nak beli la
Xkesah la utk diri sendiri
Atau min2 or my own child. Ahaha :pp

Anyway, masa solat jemaah maghrib isyak tadi
Min2 buat macam2 
Haihhh. Mmg kne sabar jaga budak ni
Mmg tengah belajar. Tapi seriously
Mmg kne ikhlas..

Tgkla. Sssi sembahyang jadi sesi main bola jadinye. Haahaha

That's min2 learning to play from me :pp

Grooming my little one. Heee. Naseb la ye syg, awak je anak buah amay. Hehehe :D

All and all. Just want u to know min2
I loveeeee you soooo much!
May Allah give u guidance and be a good muslim, son and nephew and also grandchild to all of us :)

Monday, April 27, 2015

pengubat hati

I am soooo sleepy..
Perhaps. After effect of exam la kot
Skrg ni baru je sent off min2 to kak nuri's room

Tadi. Ngantuk gile, pastu tido kat sofa, skali tgk min2 main phone tgk upin ipin, so smbg tido
That was like around 9 something
Harini kan puasa, so cam penat dia lebih sket since dok angkat barang2 yg bawak balik tu utk susun..
But then, tetibe min2 mcm menjerit kebosanan
Tapi seriously ngantuk gile that time

Gagahkan diri bukak matee
Pastu slow2 main ngan dia
Hehe.. Last2 nye segar gakla
Main guling2 dalam toto kat bawah.. 
Pastu ajak dia naik atas..
Ingat nk salam pastu suh dia g tido
Skali dia nak ikut masuk bilik
So, adegan main bterusan smpaila pkul 11 lebih
Masa min2 lari2 pastu peluk
Rasa mcm.. Haihhh! Rindunye amay dgn awakkk..

Then again. After dh penat2 main
Dia dh mule gosok mate n ckp nk ibu
*mind u he still breastfeed smpai 2 tahun lebih ni*
So sent off la dia. Tapi mmg la kan
Sbb sy kan dh besar, tapi jiwa masih kanak2. Hik3

Tapi, makes me wonder.
Kuat ke min2 bile bapak dia tgh dkt offshore
Sbb dlu masa kecik
Kenangan dgn bapak pn xbnyk sbb bapak smbung study, jd askar wataniah..
Tapi mmg blh bnafas laaa..

Saturday, April 25, 2015

encouragement




If only i can describe my feeling now
But it is indescribable :((
Allah. Tq for giving such a great teacher :)

Friday, April 24, 2015

the feeling

Bloggieee. Hai again ^^

Cik bloggie. Tau x. Actually this morning kan
I received whatsapp from my buddy prof shahrir
At first mcm speechless.


Dapat msg around 9.40 am cmtu
Result announce 10.30 am
So i know my results an hour earlier

Masa dpt msg tu
Menggigil sangat tangan
Mcm xpcaye. Mcm nak nanges.
Mmg dah nanges pon lah kan
Tapi lepas tu xde kredit
Pastu terus call ibu gune phone zura
Tapi xbgtau zura sbb takut xbetul
Result kan belom official
Huhu..

Pastu.. Waktu melangkah dalam dewan
Baca bismillah bnyk2
There i goooo.
And alhamdulillah its true :)
I am a happy girl. Truly blessed!

Masa nama kne panggil
I remember that eye..looking from far
With smile. And how terkejut i am
Smpai menggigil tangan, raup muka. Raup tangan. Hailohhhh. Mmg serba xkena
Tapi thanks.. Thankyou prof :)
And thanks to you too!
I am truly blessed.. For having a chance
To set my eyes on u
For the last time
Before i walk out from hukm gate
I know how impossible it is..
But today Allah has shown me
Nothing is impossible!
When u believe..

Because i never expect or aiming for distinction
I had this dream years ago
But, unfortunately it was torn away when i repeat my year in year 1
However, i am truly blessed that Allah given me
This golden opportunity
I believe its like an open door
For me to pursue my master programme later
And becoming a specialist. InsyaAllah ^^
Thank you Allah!

i am a doctor!

Bloggieeee...
Finally, i am a doctor!
Bloggieee thanks sgt.. Thanks for been there for me
Thankyou sgt3 bloggie! ^^

Bloggiee.
Know what the best part of it?
I got distinction! Weird haaa
Huu. Syukur sgt ya Allah!

The moment prof raymond panggil nama
Risq Atiqah Munirah lulus dengan cemerlang
Then he said. Where are u, please stand up.
And everyone was clapping for me
Tak sangka. There's like almost around 10++ people got distinction.. N the weirdest was i am the only malay girl
Macam xlogik. Macam xlayak
Tapi semua tu rezeki
Alhamdulillah. Sume tu berkat doa mak bapak mama. Sume org lah!
Macam xpercaya.. But alhamdulillah!
Anyway bloggie. My #misijubahmerah2015 finally accomplished and the best part, with distinction!
Its just made my day ^^

Me with my long case examiner. Prof lim pei shan. Tq prof for giving me a distinction!

With o&g supervisor. Teaching me to be a great person indeed. Without her guidance my o&g long case might not be as smooth as it is.

Tq Allah.
Tq mak, bapak, abg tam, abg cik, kak nury, min2, mama. And every family members
My dearest best buddy! Azura. Farah. Mila. Gid
My dearest supervisor: dr syahnaz, dr tan (ed), prof sakthis, prof oteh, mr azlan, mr hairol, mr zamri, dr adli, dr anizah and everyone who teach me :) tqqqq soooo much!

its the day!

Guysssss...
Finally, its friday! Uhuuuu..
Cemano nihhh..

Palpitation sgtttt
Dokleh nak tido langsung2
Ingatkan cik risq cool je
Haha :pp

Rase cam dah buat elok2.
Rase mcm insyaAllah boleh lulus
Tapinye, betul ke x?
Dahla this year my beloved prof xtau result
And xblh nk reveal kat kami
Slalunye sape yg xmake it prof akan call dlu
Tapi.tapi. cmne ngan hari ni?

Ok. Take a deep breathh
Kuatkan semangat! ^^
We have done what can be done
The rest leave it to Allah :) ok risq? ^^

Pastu kan tadi sy ngan zura duduk sama2 atas katil smbil bgelap
Kekunun nak romantik bagai la kan
We spends hours talking and commenting things on facebook
Then, cik risq dgr lagu jiwang2 kat phone
Suddenly, cik zura ckp..
Thankyou risq, temankan kita
I was likeee.. Huuu, zura please don't do this
Saya dahla kememeh :(
Bab2 nak kne bpisah ni. Sy slalu sgt fail tahu?
Sedihhhh :((((
Tapi tanpa disedari, airmata dah mengalir
Haihla risq! Awk kan..memang tau!
Tapi seriously, sy mmg syg dia sgt3
Sebab, kitorg penah gaduh, baik balik
Pastu teman each other..
And we trust each other..
I believe that was what friendship is all about
Sume org ade kekurangan
Tapi cmne kita deal dgn kekurangan org tu
Terima diorg seadanya
And completekan diorg
That is much more important :)

Ya Allah
Moga lepas ni, walau apa pun yg kami buat
Ukhwah ini akan terus kekal bersama
Azura..
Thankyou for being there for me
U're the best friend i ever had in my uni life
Going crazy together..
Thankssss for everything..
Setiap kali saya ingt awk, moga kenangan ini akan terus kekal bersama kita selamanya
Moga awak akan terus bahagia
Bersama cik tunang kesayangan
InsyaAllah..

I still remember masa dia nak exam
Sy la org yg anxious
Sentiasa doa sepanjang masa dia nak longcase
Moga Allah permudahkan urusan dia
Sebab sy syg dia sgt2
May Allah bless our friendship ^^ amin..

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

andai

Tgh dgr lagu andai by amy mastura & anuar zain

I dunno what happen to me today
Emo.emo.emo.
Bkn rasa nk marah ke ape
Tapi ya Allah melankolik ya amattt!
Start lepas hujan tadi la jadi gini

Petang tadi lepas hujan reda
Pergi la jenjalan sekitar ktdi
Hoping that this weird feeling will go away
Jadi ke? Memang xla kan
Dengan angin sepoi2 bahasa
Dengan kesejukannyaa
Memang makin melayan la. Haih!
Naseb xbuat perangai before exam cik hati ni
Memang nak kne lepok tau awak ni

Hadeiiiii..
Cik bloggieee
Kalau kan kita nak sesuatu
Kita kne mintak dgn pencipta sesuatu kan
Allah SWT

Pastu kan cik bloggie
Kalau bnde tu almost impossible kan
Rase2nya blh ke kita mintak jugak?
Nak ckp ngan sape pon tatawu
Cuma mampu ckp dgn Allah and dgn awk
Kalau Allah makbulkan
Mmg sayalah org yg paling gembira :)
#inmyowndream

it was raining

As i was looking outside..
It was raining heavily with all those thunderstorm
Somehow, it feels soo cold and somehow peaceful too

Its been long since i get to reflect and do whatever i wanted to do
Ever since i entered clinical years
I have no time for mushy mushy stuff
So, sitting down by the window..
Looking at the raindrops
Suddenly my heart become melodramatic
I just dont know why
It just happen

Knowing that my journey as a medical student
Almost coming to an end
Leaving all those memories, excellent teachers,
Leaving my good friends
And going to our separate ways
It feels surreal :'(
I just feel like crying my heart out loud

Well yes. Setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan
And going thru this phase, my heart seems reluctant to accept the fact.

Oh Allah, i just dont understand why must it feels like this :( i love this moment soo much
Because i feel like i am being me
The jiwang, melodramatic me
Which have not been there for quite some times

I remembered during my study week period
Sometimes things popping up in my mind
And the only thing i can do at that time
Was to shut down that part of my memory
And go on studying
How sad was that. But finally, it was over!

Bloggieee. Ever since i finished my exam, i feel soo empty inside. Why eh? 
I just feel confused. What am i going to do now
How will i survive..
Will i be able to meet up with my friends later
Oh Allah, i will definitely miss her
Especially azura, she's been there with me
Being crazy with me
I will definitely miss her so much
She understand me soo well and i understand her too. She's the best buddy i had in my uni life.

Bloggieee. People ask me, do i like someone?
Do i have anyone..
Entahlah bloggiee. For both questions
The answer is no! 
It feels like there's no room for love anymore
For me love = pain
And to go thru the pain again? Its a big no
Sometimes, i wonder why most of my specialist din get married. Were they busy or were they had broken hearted before?

Then during our course this week for internship
I just realize that, the profession that i choose
As a doctor, i need to sacrifice not only my time, but also my family and even love life.
Its like u're being married to ur work
And i believe that my specialist have that issue too!
I guess they r too career oriented and forget to have their own time, their own love life
Perhaps, at this age, as a 24 years old girl :pp nope. 24 years old lady..things like this will always popped up and i need to get ready for all the questions.
But, i hope i am able to complete my housemanship then, i will insyaAllah, with Allah's will get married to someone
And live happily ever after. Haha! :pp

Anyway, as i was writing this entry
Suddenly the rain stopped 
But the coldness can still be felt
I miss this smell
The smell of the rain :)
Till then bloggie. Have a good day people ^^

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

crazy side of me

Bloggieeee.
I know i am that weird
How la bloggie? Who actually make me feel like this..

Hailohhhh.. Bloggie!
Nak keluar dari kepompong ni sume
Xlarat nk fikir sudehhh..

The only thing that i can do was..
Staring. Hoping. Praying.
I know how IMPOSSIBLE it is.
But still. I still want it :(

Is it weird? Yeahh. I know its weird
And trulyyyy. It's more impossible :(
I kept on saying its not possible
But my mind keep on denying that fact
And still hope for a miracle to happen
That is me
Part of me being crazy by myself.

#whenistartbabbleitisnonstop
#3entryinaday

going through old days

Assalamualaikum wbt bloggieee..

Cik blog, smlm kita saje la kan go through someone's blog. Dia start blogging since med student and now dah jadi specialist pon. What makes me feel like talking & talking was, despite knowing that cik bloggie was only 'wujud' for me.. Bcoz, i've stopped blogging consistently and subsequently people also forget about ur presence. I feel like whenever i came back here, the memories of all the joy & pain seoalah2 mcm flashback into my mind. The feeling was undescribable.

Cik bloggie. Masa baca the blog, i noticed that dia mcm recap ape yg berlaku 10 years back and dia predict what will happen in another 10 years. Sadly, almost everything dia dh achieved except getting married with 4-5 children. I was like, dr can i show ur older post now.. Congratulations! U have achieved the best achievement in life. I envy u..

So. 20 years back in 1995: i was 4 years old? Haha. The only memory that i have for that was i was sent to kindergarten since 3 y/o. My mum sent me to an english kindergarten. I was soo fluent in english at that time to the extent that i will converse in english with people. I went to tadika islam only when i reach 5 y/o and that too was an achievement for myself for being the 'tokoh murid perempuan' for my tadika islam.

10 years back which was in 2005: where was i at that time? I guess i'm taking my pmr that year. After going to an arabic school before in perak, when i moved to melaka, i choose to be in non-arabic school. Definitely not staying in a hostel like before and my mum's school was just right next door. This year i managed to get straight As for my pmr and that was one of the best thing that happen in my life. Since 12 y/o i keep on asking dad to buy me the winter sonata cd to add into my collection. Sadly, at that time our family was still struggling and that cd was not in the priority list. But then, after i managed to get that kind of result my dad bought me the cd. It was one of the most happiest moment in my life. 

7 years back was in 2008. I was in matriculation in londang. I would say the best best best studying environment with all those best buddy, and i am focusing on my study. With all the hardwork i managed to get 4 flat for every semester and i remembered that i have been called by our lecturer after getting the best result for my math's paper. I can still remember how proud i was and my friend was when a muslim get 100% score for the paper. I guess the maths side in my brain was more active rather than biology :pp knowing people like abez, wan, pa'a and having them as my rumet was the best experience ever! At that particular time i was in a stupidiest state of my mind too! This which i regret the most in my life. Haihhh. So now, i'm planning to brainwash people who r still young not to get involve in r/ship especially when u're just like 18 y/o. Naive sgt! Haha! I guess if i can turn back time i will do it. But remember qada' & qadar. People come & go into ur life and each and everyone of them have their own function and role in our life. *yg budak2 kecik yg gatal nk bercouple2 tu meh sini kita babap montot awk. Nakal ngattt* but still 2008/2009 was the best study experience ever! Oh anyway i remain single till now bcoz of the after effect of past r/ship and i believe that to be dedicated and committed person i need to focus 1 thing at a time. And that was the best decision i made eventhough the process of going thru it was too painful to be remembered.

5 years back in 2010. I was in my first year and 2nd year. Yeahh! Not that good but not that creepy either. I travel to both taiwan and thailand i guess that year. Even i become the group moderator during the conference in KL. Many things happen that year but i am quite sure that it was enjoyable too. 

3 years back in 2012. I just started my clinical years and it was awesome as i started with o&g. Having to oncall and doing delieveries was perfect as an eye opener for us the in the clinical years. And and. I was active in college too. I mean active as in active gile2 sampai rasa cm gila pangkat lak :pppp i am the pengarah for jamuan raya. Timb pengarah for pesta konvo, s/u for sports day, bendahari for hope and not to mentioned ajk & exco for lotssssa stuff. I am also 1 of the college reporter that time. Hak3. How la that happen. 

Last year in 2013 i am 4th yr and in my final yr doing my research on syphilis. It was a great opportunity to learn and i enjoyed it very much. 

Now: 21/04/2015
I am here waiting for my result this friday. Cuaknyeeeer!!!

10 years ahead: 2025
Oh no! Dh capai x wawasan 2020. Katenye tema tu dibuat tahun 1991. That's when i was born. Hik3. Well, i hope the new dr.risq has succeeded in her life. Getting well for exams. Perhaps that time i am already a child psychiatrist. Married? Hopefully i am married that time with 2-3 kids. Just enough and sweet as it should be :)

Ok. Lets stop rambling and get ready for finishing schook programmed. Bye bloggie. Anyway, good morning bloggie :D

memories of clinical pro exam

Hai bloggieeee. Ahah!

Sejak habes exam ni, kdg2 mcm confuse sgt.
Because u have been stucked with all the books. 
And i did sleep with books for nearly a month
What a crazy experience. 
At that particular time, i was wondering will i be able to complete this journey?
And there's soooo many thoughts came thru my mind.

Well. I guess this blog will be with me
Hopefully i will update it every year at least one post. Haha! :pp

So here we goes. Back to the main topic
Alhamdulillah and praise to Allah!
Bloggie. I got o&g case for my long case
I am truly blessed.
Know what, the only thing that still fresh to me was o&g bcoz that was my last posting.
And i asked all my family members and even friends to pray so that i will get an o&g case.

During the first week of exam, i'm having my bff
It was troublesome especially when u experience all the symptoms like tiredness
Plus with lack of focus. I guess i'm having ADHD since childhood bcoz i can't bear staying put for such a long time. Haha :pp please give me the muscle relaxation therapy of the baby elephant! *creepy exam question for psy OSCE*

So, i asked Allah so that my turn for clinical exam will be after i'm finished with my menses. And taraaa. Alhamdulillah. Allah has granted my wish. So i have few days to pray and do some religious thingy before my clinical exam. When u're not allowed to pray during menses, i always feel empty as the connection was not that close as when we're praying. So, aftr continuous effort of praying and asking Allah to help me with my exam. Finally, the day has come.

I remembered the day before it was too stressful to the extent that u can't do anything except asking Allah to help ease ur feeling. That night, i was having all those panic attack symptoms. It was 12 am and i am still having tachycardia with pulse rate of 120 bpm. There's regular rhythm and good volume so no AF. 

So, i pat myself, trying to calm me down and stop the adrenaline rush. But the effort was useless. I comfort myself that this is not a matter of what i've learnt in the past weeks during study week. But all my efforts during this 6 years period. So i said to myself. U must sleep risq! If not u'll be in trouble. It took me more than 45 minutes to fall asleep. I just cant remember what exactly happen  but the moment i woke up its already 4 in the morning. 

Too bad. I cant sleep anymore after that.
So i went on taking bath and pray before starting my revision. *mind u during my study week period, i keep on taking bath everytime i stressed out and that was about more than 5 times a day. Haha! I am that crazy people*

So. At 8am, i realized that the palpitation and pain was unbearable. So i decided to go early to the exam hall. My turn should be at 11am and i was too early until my professor prof shahrir n dr nurman ask me, risq, knp dtg awal sgt, nanti lagi nervous! But i said, i cant bear the palpitation anymore. Haha. So i sat there revising and trying to calm myself down. 

When it was my turn, i was praying secretly that prof would pick an o&g case for me (station b was o&g case at that time)
So, when prof take out the B4 nametag, i was sooo happy and i feel like jumping up and down. Thankyou Allah! I just cant thanked u more. U have given sooo much!

So i had a 33 y/o primary school teacher G3P2, with 2 previous scar for suspected macrosomic baby, currently at 33 weeks POG and underlying chronic hpt and gdm on d/c and history of anaemia in pregnancy. The station was good and i get 2 benign lecturers prof lim peishan and dr laili :) it was daebak! 
Now its just tuesday, but dr ng bk mentioned to us that, all o&g longcase candidate pass the exam. And i was expressing my gratitude to everyone that has been praying for me :)

Shortcase was not that bad and not too good either. I manage to have a peek on my psy station marks and it was 17.5 out of 20. Isn't it great? I guess that schizo pt was a blessed and indeed perhaps its a sign that i'll be a psychiatrist later on life :) ortho was neck and UL examination. But my medical& o&g station was quite bad eventhough dr said he passed me. But overall what i can conclude was the clinical exam was tough and lucky me that i got benign lecturer and hopefully can help me pass my exam.

So thats it. My journey for professional exam. 
Now im in the middle of housemanship training camp. Hopefully by this friday i am a dr. Amin ha rabbal alamin. 

Monday, April 20, 2015

farewell dinner mdukm2015

Assalamualaikum wbt bloggieeee
Hai hai hai

Berjumpa lagi kita.. Selepas tamat exam
Bloggieeee. Tau x, result periksa kita keluar jumaat ni
Should we feel cuak2?

I dunno. I think i did my best eventhough its not perfect. But we never knew Allah's plan. Huk3

Anyway bloggieeee..
Tau ngak. I felt so many adrenaline rush tonite
But one of it was this final year dinner
Haha! Excitedddd ngatttt..

Cemano nih. Anyway. Bnyk gambar amek kat kamera mila and zura
Tapi xsmpt transfer. Phone problematic plak. Isk3. Dapat transfer 4 kpg je..

Tap, best dpt tgkp gambar ngan lecturer bnykkkkk.. Best3!!!

Ni one of my feveret pic and keep my adrenaline rush too. Sejak dr bagi tips utk final exam, serious rasa mcm nak time kaseh bnyk2 gile2 kat dia. Haha. Tqqqq so much dr! May Allah bless u always :)





Ok. Hopefully by this friday dapatla saya ubah title. Bkn jd puan. Tapi dr risq #muahciked

Friday, April 10, 2015

clinical exam: 16th april 2015

ok. sooo. harini senarai utk clinical exam dah keluar
and. and. doa mak ayah makbul la kot kan
Allah tahu ape yg terbaik utk aku

khamis.
tapi housemate: azura ngan yun dapat hari isnin
shida lak hari jumaat

cuaknyeeeeee...
tapi saya positif, dan akan usaha sungguh2 :) insyaAllah ^^

tadi prof shahrir cakap yang hari khamis, jumaat and sabtu kne hati2
sebab mungkin lecturer garang2 la kot. huhuhu
harapnya semua urusan dipermudahkan
aku yakin lecturer pon taknak failkan student
harapnya, i will be doing good that day
insyaAllah, and graduate as a safe doctor ^^

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

moment of truth

Assalamualaikum WBT bloggieeee

its my day 3 of professional exam
segala perasaan ade. cuak, and the funniest thing was
i thought i am cool, relax, not too stressed up
but, my body experienced its hardest time ever

the morning of  my first exam, i have my OSCE.
know what, i couldn't sleep much that night, but the worst part was
i woke up at 4 am in the morning
having severe stomachache.. bloated stomach
nauseated... gile gile punye nauseated

and so it happens..
lebih dari 5 kali ulang aling toilet, but nothing happen
this exam was the worst experience ever
during study week lagi badan dah experience stress level yg sgt tinggi
kena infected eczema, pastu hemorrhoid.. macam2 la
the morning before exam tu ingatkan dah tak mampu nk pegi exam dah
i have this thought..

Ya Allah, ape yang aku dah buat ya Allah sehingga diduga sebegini
aku ade buat salah ke. kenapa pagi nak exam jadi macam ni
dahla exam paling penting
i remember i was crying badly and was in severe pain
almost macam org nak beranak.hahaha =_="
but then, lepas letak minyak angin, paksa diri tido, paksa diri relaks
pagi tu bangun lewat, pukul 6 baru bangun
pastu pagi tu rasa fresh, takde sakit
terus ucap syukur pada Allah sebab bagi kemudahan
sebabnye, OSCE ade 2 group, and i was in the first group, maksudnya group paling awal
haih laaaa.. alhamdulillah
and so far everything was well up till now..

i hope the next 2 papers will be good too! harapnya lahhh kan. aminnn
tolong doakan ya <3 p="">

i hope the next time i wrote in this blog, i am no longer just risq
but Dr. Risq Atiqah Munirah binti Mohamed Mustafa
amin ya rabbal a'lamin :)

few more days to go..
brace yourself baby ^^

Sunday, March 29, 2015

The week of craziness

hai bloggieee

MY MOM SAID I"M CRAZY!
how could u mummy. hahahahaha
well. now, its 7 days to professional exam
its like a dream..
after sooo long, the time has come
baaaaaa...

jom la cuak beramai2.
tak tau mampu ke tak :((
insyaAllah, marilah berdoa.
please. please. please.
doakan yeee <3 p="">

Monday, March 23, 2015

my birthday

happy birthday to myself :)
24 years old
i'm a lady now, not a girl anymore
it feels weird
it feels soooo weird

but then, pray to Allah.
may everything be at ease.
thanks bloggie for being with me this whole time
u're a grown up too :D

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

interview day

Assalamualaikum WBT bloggieeee..

Hai! Harini kitorg g interbiu SPA
Haha! Smlm mcm org gile tahu? Dok bace hippocrates oath la. Zmn perubatan islam
Dgn common2 disease bagai.
Siap prepare jwpn, why do u want to be a doctor.
Nk pilih hosp bandar/luar bandar ke..
Siap praktis dgn ibu n bapak on the phone
Nk dekat sejam kot prepare
Tapi tahu x ape jd? :pppp

Masuk2 bilik interbiu. Duduk.
Pastu interviewer kenal kan diri
Pastu bg nasihat2 sket psl housemanship
Last. Dia suruh introducekan diri
Then, THE END.

Xtau nk rasa gembira? Sedih? Kelakar?
Hahaha. Anyway, i'm glad interview hbes dh. Xlarat jiwa asyik bedebar dari pagi. Haha.
Such a great experience. Ehehe :D

Tu maksudnye skrg ni kita kne fikir
PRO EXAM! Uwaaaa. Cuaknyeeee..
Tgh fikir nk buat cmne skrg. Nk bg rse btanggungjwb sket ;pppp

Xpe. Skrg enjoy n study smart.
Jgn panik sgt kan. Daebak!


Thursday, January 29, 2015

mencari ketenangan fikiran

Assalamualaikum WBT bloggiee

hai again! ahah, i just don't know why i am here
writing nonsense. i just DONT KNOW why! hahaha =PP

well my dear bloggie. to think that PRO EXAM is just in a few months to go
to be exact 70 days. am i PANICKING? *insert stress mood here*
NO! I AM NOT PANICKING =P
*dah knp sume nak CAPSLOCK bagai risq oiii =PP*

haha. well i need to get serious eh?
and i need to make a diagnosis on my own now.
usually, before clerking patient, i will have a peek on the case note
what kind of patient i am dealing with
but now, i need to CHANGE
clerking, examining, and come to the diagnosis on my own
well, not that bad eyyh?? =PP

anyway. the thing that i WANT TO STRESS ABOUT is that
bloggieee. i am SOOO CUAK la bloggieee
what if i can't do it?
what if i *nauzubillah* did not pass?
bloggiee.. i am tired enough of all this nonsense.
haha. NONSENSE again eh?

I AM POSITIVE that will PASS this exam
and become a DOCTOR in the house
i just can't wait bloggie
i just wanna go through all this and GRADUATE!
people around me, sume dah graduate, sume dah keje
I WANNA GET THAT FEELING
eventhough i dont want to get old
haha. OMMMOOO.. i am 24 this year
people said that 23 years old is the worst
HAHA? is that true eyy? entahla.. but eventually it's true in some aspect
because at that age, too many things happen to the extent that i almost get fed up
but heyyy, LIFE IS A CHALLENGE kan?