Wednesday, April 22, 2015

it was raining

As i was looking outside..
It was raining heavily with all those thunderstorm
Somehow, it feels soo cold and somehow peaceful too

Its been long since i get to reflect and do whatever i wanted to do
Ever since i entered clinical years
I have no time for mushy mushy stuff
So, sitting down by the window..
Looking at the raindrops
Suddenly my heart become melodramatic
I just dont know why
It just happen

Knowing that my journey as a medical student
Almost coming to an end
Leaving all those memories, excellent teachers,
Leaving my good friends
And going to our separate ways
It feels surreal :'(
I just feel like crying my heart out loud

Well yes. Setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan
And going thru this phase, my heart seems reluctant to accept the fact.

Oh Allah, i just dont understand why must it feels like this :( i love this moment soo much
Because i feel like i am being me
The jiwang, melodramatic me
Which have not been there for quite some times

I remembered during my study week period
Sometimes things popping up in my mind
And the only thing i can do at that time
Was to shut down that part of my memory
And go on studying
How sad was that. But finally, it was over!

Bloggieee. Ever since i finished my exam, i feel soo empty inside. Why eh? 
I just feel confused. What am i going to do now
How will i survive..
Will i be able to meet up with my friends later
Oh Allah, i will definitely miss her
Especially azura, she's been there with me
Being crazy with me
I will definitely miss her so much
She understand me soo well and i understand her too. She's the best buddy i had in my uni life.

Bloggieee. People ask me, do i like someone?
Do i have anyone..
Entahlah bloggiee. For both questions
The answer is no! 
It feels like there's no room for love anymore
For me love = pain
And to go thru the pain again? Its a big no
Sometimes, i wonder why most of my specialist din get married. Were they busy or were they had broken hearted before?

Then during our course this week for internship
I just realize that, the profession that i choose
As a doctor, i need to sacrifice not only my time, but also my family and even love life.
Its like u're being married to ur work
And i believe that my specialist have that issue too!
I guess they r too career oriented and forget to have their own time, their own love life
Perhaps, at this age, as a 24 years old girl :pp nope. 24 years old lady..things like this will always popped up and i need to get ready for all the questions.
But, i hope i am able to complete my housemanship then, i will insyaAllah, with Allah's will get married to someone
And live happily ever after. Haha! :pp

Anyway, as i was writing this entry
Suddenly the rain stopped 
But the coldness can still be felt
I miss this smell
The smell of the rain :)
Till then bloggie. Have a good day people ^^

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