it was raining

As i was looking outside..

It was raining heavily with all those thunderstorm

Somehow, it feels soo cold and somehow peaceful too

Its been long since i get to reflect and do whatever i wanted to do

Ever since i entered clinical years

I have no time for mushy mushy stuff

So, sitting down by the window..

Looking at the raindrops

Suddenly my heart become melodramatic

I just dont know why

It just happen

Knowing that my journey as a medical student

Almost coming to an end

Leaving all those memories, excellent teachers,

Leaving my good friends

And going to our separate ways

It feels surreal :'(

I just feel like crying my heart out loud

Well yes. Setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan

And going thru this phase, my heart seems reluctant to accept the fact.

Oh Allah, i just dont understand why must it feels like this :( i love this moment soo much

Because i feel like i am being me

The jiwang, melodramatic me

Which have not been there for quite some times

I remembered during my study week period

Sometimes things popping up in my mind

And the only thing i can do at that time

Was to shut down that part of my memory

And go on studying

How sad was that. But finally, it was over!

Bloggieee. Ever since i finished my exam, i feel soo empty inside. Why eh? 

I just feel confused. What am i going to do now

How will i survive..

Will i be able to meet up with my friends later

Oh Allah, i will definitely miss her

Especially azura, she's been there with me

Being crazy with me

I will definitely miss her so much

She understand me soo well and i understand her too. She's the best buddy i had in my uni life.

Bloggieee. People ask me, do i like someone?

Do i have anyone..

Entahlah bloggiee. For both questions

The answer is no! 

It feels like there's no room for love anymore

For me love = pain

And to go thru the pain again? Its a big no

Sometimes, i wonder why most of my specialist din get married. Were they busy or were they had broken hearted before?

Then during our course this week for internship

I just realize that, the profession that i choose

As a doctor, i need to sacrifice not only my time, but also my family and even love life.

Its like u're being married to ur work

And i believe that my specialist have that issue too!

I guess they r too career oriented and forget to have their own time, their own love life

Perhaps, at this age, as a 24 years old girl :pp nope. 24 years old lady..things like this will always popped up and i need to get ready for all the questions.

But, i hope i am able to complete my housemanship then, i will insyaAllah, with Allah's will get married to someone

And live happily ever after. Haha! :pp

Anyway, as i was writing this entry

Suddenly the rain stopped 

But the coldness can still be felt

I miss this smell

The smell of the rain :)

Till then bloggie. Have a good day people ^^