Assalamualaikum WBT n hello bloggie
Bloggie. Saya xtau apa yg sy buat ni salah or what. Huhu. Tapi niat sy buat ni sbb sy mmg janji pd diri saya. N sy janji pd Allah utk berubah kearah yg lebih baik. Firstly, dlm hidup sy sepanjang 22 tahun ni, sy penah betul2 berchenta skali kot. Yg crush2 atau lain2 tu xkire la. Yg serious tu skali je. And lama jugak la sy ngn dia. Almost 4/5 yrs. Mmg r/ship tu bermula dgn kwn then tanpa sedar tersuka dia. Tapi. Hbungan tu xpernah happy atau membawa sy jd aomeone yg better. Disebabkan berchenta sebelum usia yg sepatutnya, sy slalu depressed and berfikir dgn sgt xmatang. Jadi, kesimpulan sy utk relationship sebelum kahwin adalah VERY BAD.
Justeru, disebabkan oleh itu, saya pn semakin kurang bergaul dgn lelaki, sy buang sikap bls msg lelaki yg xde kaitan kerja. Since then, sy hanya msg lelaki apabila perlu dan ada kerja. Xde msg siapa2 skdr nk sembang kosong. I have no intention towards guys anymore.
Recently, ade someone from my past msg, and saja nk brtanye khabar. I know its rude but I din reply his msg, and it ends up dia panggil sy sombong. Lastly, sy gather la courage n say that bkn niat nk menyombong, tp sy mmg xreply msg yg xberkenaan. I know he feel offended bla3 tapi what can I do? Rase bsalah la jugak. Tapi, since he's not someone close, I just shut my eyes off n forget. Kalau dia nk remove fren ke hape ke its up to him la kan. I dun mind. Walaupun rase bsalah, tapi sy buat ats dasar janji yg sy dh buat. So I hope Allah wil forgive me for doing such thing and make me istiqamah in whatever I do.
Ya Allah, the only thing I pray and hope is to get ur blessing, and I hope u'll grant me with someone who can guide me once I'm ready. Tq Allah ;)
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